It is really important to connect with the yoga instructor. I didn't think that it would matter so much when I first started but the more I went the more I liked, then loved the way my yoga teacher taught. She would have a fill in once in a while and they were ok, but for me it was not the same. She also had another instructor for a while and I liked him equally well but for different reasons.
My yoga instructor is a little tiny thing, and my friend and I both being above average in height dubbed her mighty mouse, in the most affectionate way. She was tough she pushed and encouraged us to find the edge and then go beyond. If we fell out of a pose then so what, our mat was the place to get messy. Every time she gives a correction I feel like she is talking to me directly, even thought she is clear across the room. Being a yoga instructor is more than just calling out poses, it is correcting and adjusting until that pose is requiring the most out of everyone. Anyone can go to yoga and fake it and pretend to be fully engaged in a pose, but that is not where the benefits lie and at first I was lucky to just make it through a class. Once I started
building some muscle tone and could actually do the first down dog
without my muscles screaming at me, I started trying really hard to
listen to her voice and just do it. It is in the little course corrections, sometimes unseen and go unnoticed that the real work comes and the results are felt. Just listening to what she was telling
me to do and make all the little corrections I soon started seeing
results, feeling that I too might just be able to practice yoga and
not fake it.
This is true for life, it is not the big things that need to be changed, it is the little course corrections that need to be made to stay on the right path. Not making them doesn't seem like a big deal at first but over time the affects of not making those changes will be seen. I am working daily on making those small course corrections both on and off the yoga mat. I want to be true to myself and I want to reach and stretch to be the person I know I can become. I try hard to listen to that inner voice that is giving me little course corrections throughout the day, and trying hard to make those adjustments in my life.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Clarity
Practicing yoga brings clarity to a lot of areas of my life. I try hard to see the other person's point of view. We all have opinions and we all think we are right. But at times while I am focusing on trying my best to perfect a pose on the yoga mat clarity comes and it brings understanding and acceptance. I need to be still to hear, and focused to understand, and open minded to suggestions. Sometimes I only hear part of the story and make huge assumptions based on what I believe is truth, when possibility there are two sides of the story or possibly more of the story that went unheard or untold.
Tonight I had the perfect example of not getting clarity. One of my sons has eggs for breakfast every morning, his dad is a great short order cook and makes the kids what they want for breakfast every day. This child wants scrambled eggs everyday. I buy a lot of eggs but we used a lot of eggs this week and I seem to have used the last 2 eggs to make some cookies this afternoon. After dinner I told my son, "Just wanted to let you know you can't have eggs for breakfast tomorrow, they are all gone." I wanted to tell him so that in the morning when he came upstairs expecting eggs he wouldn't be disappointed and let that ruin his whole day and he would have time to think of something else that he could choke down for breakfast instead of eggs. A couple of hours later my son asked his dad, "Why won't mom let me have eggs for breakfast, is she mad at me?"
This was a perfect example of not listening, or maybe not processing what was said. He just heard you can't have eggs, and his mind turned off all other information. He had to go around all night wondering why I was punishing him by not letting him have eggs. How many times have I done the same thing? Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions based on half truths. How many times have people taken what I have said or done and only heard what they wanted to hear to make it fit their needs? I admit I am guilty of this and have worked hard to be accepting of others and myself, and sometimes the only clarity that I get is to let it go and accept what is.
Tonight I had the perfect example of not getting clarity. One of my sons has eggs for breakfast every morning, his dad is a great short order cook and makes the kids what they want for breakfast every day. This child wants scrambled eggs everyday. I buy a lot of eggs but we used a lot of eggs this week and I seem to have used the last 2 eggs to make some cookies this afternoon. After dinner I told my son, "Just wanted to let you know you can't have eggs for breakfast tomorrow, they are all gone." I wanted to tell him so that in the morning when he came upstairs expecting eggs he wouldn't be disappointed and let that ruin his whole day and he would have time to think of something else that he could choke down for breakfast instead of eggs. A couple of hours later my son asked his dad, "Why won't mom let me have eggs for breakfast, is she mad at me?"
This was a perfect example of not listening, or maybe not processing what was said. He just heard you can't have eggs, and his mind turned off all other information. He had to go around all night wondering why I was punishing him by not letting him have eggs. How many times have I done the same thing? Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions based on half truths. How many times have people taken what I have said or done and only heard what they wanted to hear to make it fit their needs? I admit I am guilty of this and have worked hard to be accepting of others and myself, and sometimes the only clarity that I get is to let it go and accept what is.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Sweat and Tears Look the Same
Sweating comes with yoga, I practice Power Flow Yoga in a hot room. When I first started it was really hard for me to be that hot. As soon as my body started sweating it would drive me crazy, my head would itch as the sweat started, and I had a hard time concentrating on what the teacher was saying because I wanted to stop sweating. It took a long time for me to embrace that feeling. Now when I start sweating I welcome it and know that is the moment when I start working, when my body it cleansing itself of all the bad stuff. When I stand in warrior 2 position and see the sweat rolling off of my arms I feel a sense of accomplishment.
There are a lot of things mentally that I have struggled with, and there are times when I am practicing yoga and I have cried because of something that is weighing heavy on my heart or a situation that felt overwhelming to me at the time. The good thing about practicing yoga in a hot sweaty room is that tears and sweat look the same. Crying is an emotional release, not something I readily do in my real world, but on the mat I can't even hide from myself.
I don't know if I can quite put my finger on why yoga is so emotional sometimes but maybe it is because on the yoga mat it is all about me, I can't check Facebook, or my phone, I can't even check the time, I have to be totally checked into me. I want to create a better me each time I am on the mat. It is taking years to shed some of the bad habits and negative talk that I have bombarded myself with over a lifetime. Slowly letting go of past pain, disappointment and mistakes. Realizing that it is ok to be me and that each day I want to be a better version of me. It is hard. It is a constant struggle. I am making baby steps and sometimes that is frustrating. On the mat I can be real with myself, I can cry and no one is the wiser, but me. Healing emotional pain is difficult but on the mat I can make small strides and when I come home and peal the soaking wet workout clothes off of my body I know that I have succeeded in my yoga practice for that day.
There are a lot of things mentally that I have struggled with, and there are times when I am practicing yoga and I have cried because of something that is weighing heavy on my heart or a situation that felt overwhelming to me at the time. The good thing about practicing yoga in a hot sweaty room is that tears and sweat look the same. Crying is an emotional release, not something I readily do in my real world, but on the mat I can't even hide from myself.
I don't know if I can quite put my finger on why yoga is so emotional sometimes but maybe it is because on the yoga mat it is all about me, I can't check Facebook, or my phone, I can't even check the time, I have to be totally checked into me. I want to create a better me each time I am on the mat. It is taking years to shed some of the bad habits and negative talk that I have bombarded myself with over a lifetime. Slowly letting go of past pain, disappointment and mistakes. Realizing that it is ok to be me and that each day I want to be a better version of me. It is hard. It is a constant struggle. I am making baby steps and sometimes that is frustrating. On the mat I can be real with myself, I can cry and no one is the wiser, but me. Healing emotional pain is difficult but on the mat I can make small strides and when I come home and peal the soaking wet workout clothes off of my body I know that I have succeeded in my yoga practice for that day.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Flexibility
Once on the yoga mat it is hard to hide from the real hard facts. In real life we can dress for success, we can hide our flaws with over sized clothing. We can mask our imperfections with make-up, and we can style our hair in a way that is flattering.
The proverbial rubber hits the road, happens on the yoga mat. On my yoga mat is where things get messy. I am challenged each time I go to yoga and there is no hiding. I already knew that I needed yoga so that I could move with ease while chasing an active 3 year old, but the reality of how non-flexible I am shows its ugly head every time. Take tonight for example, we were almost done with yoga we were in the final stretch, so I was plenty warm and had already been stretching for an hour, when the instructor had us sit with our leg extended and reach for our toes, not rounding our back but hinging at the waist. She mentioned that it is ok if we couldn't go very far. There I was with my legs extended as far as they would go, and that wasn't very far, trying with all my might to hinge not bend my waist over to the floor. I was able to go about 3 inches. I am so UN-flexible. I don't think there was visible movement when I tried to hinge at the waist.
Yoga isn't for the most flexible people, although I am amazed at how flexible some people are. Yoga is for everyone. For as inflexible as I was last night I have been stretching and practicing yoga for almost 3 years and I have seen huge strides in my flexibility. My back, shoulder, legs, you name it, it has become more flexible. Will I ever be able to sit with my legs extended and touch my tummy to the floor, like my 5 year old can so easily do? Probably not but knowing that I am getting better all the time helps and I can stand and touch my toes, which I could not do when I started. Yoga is about taking the baby steps and celebrating even the small victories that happen each time I come to the mat!
The proverbial rubber hits the road, happens on the yoga mat. On my yoga mat is where things get messy. I am challenged each time I go to yoga and there is no hiding. I already knew that I needed yoga so that I could move with ease while chasing an active 3 year old, but the reality of how non-flexible I am shows its ugly head every time. Take tonight for example, we were almost done with yoga we were in the final stretch, so I was plenty warm and had already been stretching for an hour, when the instructor had us sit with our leg extended and reach for our toes, not rounding our back but hinging at the waist. She mentioned that it is ok if we couldn't go very far. There I was with my legs extended as far as they would go, and that wasn't very far, trying with all my might to hinge not bend my waist over to the floor. I was able to go about 3 inches. I am so UN-flexible. I don't think there was visible movement when I tried to hinge at the waist.
Yoga isn't for the most flexible people, although I am amazed at how flexible some people are. Yoga is for everyone. For as inflexible as I was last night I have been stretching and practicing yoga for almost 3 years and I have seen huge strides in my flexibility. My back, shoulder, legs, you name it, it has become more flexible. Will I ever be able to sit with my legs extended and touch my tummy to the floor, like my 5 year old can so easily do? Probably not but knowing that I am getting better all the time helps and I can stand and touch my toes, which I could not do when I started. Yoga is about taking the baby steps and celebrating even the small victories that happen each time I come to the mat!
Monday, March 11, 2013
Religon and Yoga
Before I started yoga I wondered how that would fit into my religious life. I am very religious and my beliefs run deep, how would yoga interfere with my belief system? I didn't want to "worship" an idol such as Buddha, I didn't want to do any weird chants, masked as praying to said Buddha.
Luckily for me my fears were not fact based. Yoga is not a religion! It is a form of exercise that brings together the mind, body and spirit to make oneself better. (that is my own definition) There are aspects of yoga that reach our spiritual side and that in of itself might be considered a practice in religion, and for some the practice of yoga is "their" religion. For me I find that it strengthens my own religious beliefs.
How does it do this? My mind is usually running from one thought to the next trying hard to focus on the good thoughts without letting the negative thoughts run wild. When I am at yoga it takes all my brain effort to concentrate on the pose I am trying to do. I found out about 6 months into practicing yoga that I really do well if I can focus on the instructor's voice and not let anything else enter my mind. So for 75 minutes my mind is focused on my body, and on making the most out of every single pose. I can feel the minute my mind wanders, I fall out of a pose or I miss an instruction and get left behind. I can come to yoga with things weighing heavy on my mind and spirit and by focusing on just me for a little while I seem to gain clarity of whatever the situation.
When I pray, which I do several times during the day, I more often than not do not take the time to stop and listen. While on the yoga mat at the end of a workout, I have received many answers to prayers because I am lying perfectly still, my mind is calm and I am ready to listen.
Yoga also incorporates meditation, compassion for self and others, non-judgement, these virtues can also be found in religions as well, and for me the more I can practice the good the better. Yoga is not a religion, it doesn't change or interfere with my religious beliefs, when I realized this I was able to embrace yoga for the healthy benefits that it brings to my mind and body.
Luckily for me my fears were not fact based. Yoga is not a religion! It is a form of exercise that brings together the mind, body and spirit to make oneself better. (that is my own definition) There are aspects of yoga that reach our spiritual side and that in of itself might be considered a practice in religion, and for some the practice of yoga is "their" religion. For me I find that it strengthens my own religious beliefs.
How does it do this? My mind is usually running from one thought to the next trying hard to focus on the good thoughts without letting the negative thoughts run wild. When I am at yoga it takes all my brain effort to concentrate on the pose I am trying to do. I found out about 6 months into practicing yoga that I really do well if I can focus on the instructor's voice and not let anything else enter my mind. So for 75 minutes my mind is focused on my body, and on making the most out of every single pose. I can feel the minute my mind wanders, I fall out of a pose or I miss an instruction and get left behind. I can come to yoga with things weighing heavy on my mind and spirit and by focusing on just me for a little while I seem to gain clarity of whatever the situation.
When I pray, which I do several times during the day, I more often than not do not take the time to stop and listen. While on the yoga mat at the end of a workout, I have received many answers to prayers because I am lying perfectly still, my mind is calm and I am ready to listen.
Yoga also incorporates meditation, compassion for self and others, non-judgement, these virtues can also be found in religions as well, and for me the more I can practice the good the better. Yoga is not a religion, it doesn't change or interfere with my religious beliefs, when I realized this I was able to embrace yoga for the healthy benefits that it brings to my mind and body.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Vulnerable
I am going to be real vulnerable, I am going to put myself out there, yoga has been teaching me that. I am an introvert, I don't like crowds and I really don't like social situations where I have to talk to new people. Even that was hard for me to type. I come across as confidant but inside I am scared and afraid.
Starting this blog, which will hopefully turn into a business, more on that later, scares me. It makes me vulnerable. I have spent a majority of my life building up walls of protection around myself. I am careful of who I let in for fear of getting hurt or rejected, which has happened, I am sure it happens to everyone.
I am afraid to go out and sell myself, to promote what I do and who I am, to toot my own horn. This has stopped me from following some of my dreams, but I am stepping out of the comfort zone and giving this endeavor my all. Yoga has taught me that I need to stretch and not be afraid to try new things. When I first started yoga I loved doing tree pose, it was easy and I felt a master of tree pose.
Hey, ya gotta start somewhere. One of the poses that I thought I would never conquer was crow, how was I supposed to get all 5'10'' of my body to balance on my elbows and wrists?
I thought for sure I would never master that pose. But I attempted the pose each time, I went out of my comfort zone, even falling flat on my face, thought I broke my nose once, and finally after 2 and a half years I can do crow! I look forward to doing crow and feel a rush of exhilaration each time I hold the pose, and I am a victor even if I only hold it for 30 seconds!
So I am going to stretch way out of my comfort zone and put myself, my work, my talent, my hobby out there for the world to see and if I fall flat on my face, I will get back up and try again. If I am rejected I will persevere. I can't control what others think of me or what I do I can only try my best and be who I am.
Starting this blog, which will hopefully turn into a business, more on that later, scares me. It makes me vulnerable. I have spent a majority of my life building up walls of protection around myself. I am careful of who I let in for fear of getting hurt or rejected, which has happened, I am sure it happens to everyone.
I am afraid to go out and sell myself, to promote what I do and who I am, to toot my own horn. This has stopped me from following some of my dreams, but I am stepping out of the comfort zone and giving this endeavor my all. Yoga has taught me that I need to stretch and not be afraid to try new things. When I first started yoga I loved doing tree pose, it was easy and I felt a master of tree pose.
Hey, ya gotta start somewhere. One of the poses that I thought I would never conquer was crow, how was I supposed to get all 5'10'' of my body to balance on my elbows and wrists?
I thought for sure I would never master that pose. But I attempted the pose each time, I went out of my comfort zone, even falling flat on my face, thought I broke my nose once, and finally after 2 and a half years I can do crow! I look forward to doing crow and feel a rush of exhilaration each time I hold the pose, and I am a victor even if I only hold it for 30 seconds!
So I am going to stretch way out of my comfort zone and put myself, my work, my talent, my hobby out there for the world to see and if I fall flat on my face, I will get back up and try again. If I am rejected I will persevere. I can't control what others think of me or what I do I can only try my best and be who I am.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Why Yoga
I am 44 years old and didn't find yoga until almost 3 years ago. I have been a fad exerciser, I have had gym memberships and have enjoyed going to various classes, but nothing has ever stuck as something that I hope to do for the rest of my life. I attend for a while and then get distracted or busy or just plan loose interest. I tried a yoga class at the gym one time about 10 years ago and it was torture. I could not just lay there and relax I had a million things that needed to get done and trying to turn the outside world off and focus while just laying there was impossible for me. That was the one and only experience I had with yoga and I had no interest in ever doing it again. I have a friend that is really into yoga and she tried for years to get me to go and I just was not interested at all.
Three years ago we brought our little girls home from Haiti, I went from having a 10 year old as the youngest child in the home to a 2 year old. She wanted me to sit on the floor and play with her, and read to her. She required constant movement on my part and at 41 I felt like an old lady. Everything hurt, my back ached, my legs couldn't sit crossed legged, it was hard to get up and stand up straight. I am not over weight, although loosing 10 lbs would be wonderful, I had been running for the last 6 months and hated every minute of it but that is what everyone was doing, I needed to do something to feel 20 something again.
My friend that loves yoga, another friend and I were talking she was trying to convince us to come try out the place she does yoga, so we decided to give it a try, I didn't love it at first but I loved the way I felt after. Within a short time of going regularly I could keep up with my now active 3 year old and 6 year old and I love yoga!
Three years ago we brought our little girls home from Haiti, I went from having a 10 year old as the youngest child in the home to a 2 year old. She wanted me to sit on the floor and play with her, and read to her. She required constant movement on my part and at 41 I felt like an old lady. Everything hurt, my back ached, my legs couldn't sit crossed legged, it was hard to get up and stand up straight. I am not over weight, although loosing 10 lbs would be wonderful, I had been running for the last 6 months and hated every minute of it but that is what everyone was doing, I needed to do something to feel 20 something again.
My friend that loves yoga, another friend and I were talking she was trying to convince us to come try out the place she does yoga, so we decided to give it a try, I didn't love it at first but I loved the way I felt after. Within a short time of going regularly I could keep up with my now active 3 year old and 6 year old and I love yoga!
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